(Source: sloppybuns)

I’m half awake and scared and my mind has been tangled up for weeks so here we go you don’t have to read but this is what’s going on and I need some support 

 ( Anyone who is fighting for recovery, please like this or message me or let me know you’re out there somehow so I can follow you and we can maybe work on this together ) Support from some fellow warriors would be really nice right now <3

Anyway… yeah, thoughts;

  • I may delete or remake , I don’t want any triggers popping up while I’m in inpatient, and right now pretty much anything can be a trigger
  • Oh yeah, inpatient. I’m leaving tomorrow. 
  • I’m so so scared. I’m not sure if it’s worse the second time around knowing what to expect or not knowing a thing at all.
  • What if my roommate and I don’t get along?

I’ve also been having these thoughts like “what if I’m too comfortable around food? What if I don’t have a problem eating recovery amounts? I’ve done it before, I can do it again no problem… :/ ” Which makes me feel as if I shouldn’t be going, I mean if I can eat, and I do…

But I know it’s not enough and I know it’s not healthy… I know I’m using behaviors and they are going to kill me if I don’t fucking start fighting them right now today not tomorrow.

I woke up starving, and I didn’t want to eat because I know i’ll gain and I have some sick thought telling me that I need to weigh less coming in this time around or else maybe I’m not actually sick and maybe I’m just being whiney and lazy and I don’t deserve to be there if I can eat so why would I waste their time…

but 

sooner or later I will have to cut the ties to my disorder, stop dragging it around like a goddamn ball and chain and LET GO

So I’m eating oatmeal, feeling very conflicted and guilty but if I don’t start fighting today I will never see a light. 

Go out and do something. It isn’t your room that’s a prison, it’s yourself.
-(via sleepyspirit)

(Source: larmoyante)

(Source: theloveyourselfchallenge)

reginasworld:

Mirrors and Windows is a portrait series by Italian photographers Gabriele Galimberti and Edoardo Dilelle that draws insight into the lives of women across the world based on their intimate living spaces.  See if you can guess the country and click the link to find out.

(Source: izismile.com)

Drunk blogging , I apologize.

Watching The Voice and going through my likes atm, you’ve been warned.

There are times when you don’t know yourself. There are times when you don’t want to know yourself. There are times when you want to be what you have never allowed yourself to be before.
-Aidan Chambers (via stxxz)
To me, that’s the beauty of science: to know that you will never know everything, but you never stop wanting to, that when you learn something, for a second you feel crazy smart, and then stupid all over again as new questions come tumbling in. It’s an urge that never dies, a game that never ends.
-

Robert Krulwich of Radiolab takes a look at three books, each tackling the question of whether there are just some things we may never know.

Read more at Krulwich Wonders…

(via jtotheizzoe)

If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.
-Zora Neale Hurston (via thechanelmuse)

(Source: noldarling)

Stay strong 💜

from smileandpickyourselfup


Its so good to hear those worse coming from someone aside from myself. Thank you <3

People may not tell you how they feel about you, but they always show you. Pay attention.
-Unknown (via psych-facts)

(Source: psych-quotes)

kingwizardari:

It’s that time a year

kingwizardari:

It’s that time a year

› Real food.

fatnutritionist:

Right this minute, there is someone going through chemotherapy shopping at your grocery store, buying popsicles and ice cream to help their sore mouth, and worrying what the cashier is going to think.

There is someone on hemodialysis buying white bread instead of whole wheat, trying to keep their phosphorus levels reasonable between appointments and hoping for the best.

There is a person attending intensive outpatient treatment for their eating disorder who has been challenged by their therapist to buy a Frappuccino.

There are dietitians picking up a dozen different candy bars to eat with their clients, who feel ashamed and guilty about enjoying them.

There is someone who just doesn’t have it in them to cook right now, and this frozen pizza and canned soup will keep them going.

There are people recovering from chronic dieting and semi-starvation who are buying chocolate and chips at their deprived body’s insistence.

All around us are people listening to what their bodies need and attempting to make the best possible choice within a context of overwhelming food pressure. All of their choices are valid, and every single one of these foods is “real.”

andrea215:

Click here for more!

andrea215:

Click here for more!

Starbucks has been the only thing able to get me out of bed today.
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This weekend has been incredibly difficult. Ive lost 7lbs in the last 4 days; this is my first meal. Relapse has been hell, I can&#8217;t get out of this one on my own. 
Sorry but I have to tell someone &#8230;

Starbucks has been the only thing able to get me out of bed today.

Read More

Notte Themes     ☾